Posts of gary RSSThu, 22 Jan 2015 20:20:20 GMTCows, Geopolitics, and Big Business TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide. A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them. A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them. A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute. ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transfer... Read more

]]>Thu, 22 Jan 2015 20:20:20 GMT(JOKE Recipe–this recipe has been checked for typos…there are none.) Ingredients:1 or 2 quarts rum 1 tsp. baking powder (not gun)4 C flour 1 tsp. favorite essence1 C butter 1 tsp. baking soda (unflavored)1 C sugar lemon juice2 large eggs brown sugar1 C dried fruit  & nuts (no bolts) Directions:1. Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn’t it? Now go ahead.2. Select a mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc., Check the rum again; it must be just right.3. To be sure the rum is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat this step.4. Then with an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter into a large fluffy bowl. 5. Slowly add 1 cup thugar and beat hell.6. Meanwhile, make sure the rum is still of the highest quality. Try another cup. 7. Open 2nd qt. if necessary. 8. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups of our, and 1 cup of fried druit and beat until high. 9. If druit gets stuck in beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. 10. Sample the rum again, testing for tonscisticity.11. Next, sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it really doesn’t matter). Sample the rum again. 12. Sift 1/2 pt. lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. 13. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar or whatever color you can find. Wix mel. 14. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. 15. Now pour the whole mess into the oven and ake. 16. Check the rum again and bo to ged.

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